Nellie’s website is a shining example of the finest in web design from 2005.  With a yellow color that screams at you when you arrive to a single scrolling image across the top of our site, it’s obvious we need a new website!  Please see below for photo evidence:

(Our website.  Click here to make it better. )

How you can help us:

1) Click on this link to vote.

2) Share your vote on facebook and ask your friends to help us win a new website!

3) Copy, paste, and tweet the following:

Vote @nelliesshelter for CANADA’S WEBSITE CHARITY CHALLENGE and help them win a new one here: http://ow.ly/9fbVX

4) Forward this blog to a friend.

Help Nellie’s website come alive with the same passion, dedication, and commitment that we put into helping women and children escape violence.

Back in December you helped us raise enough money in under 24 hours to replace our boiler at the shelter.  We know you can help us win this website.  Thank you for your vote.

For women who are being abused by their partners, leaving may mean becoming homeless, being shunned by their families for “not trying hard enough to make the relationship work”, raising children as a single mother, and a constant feeling of “did I do something wrong?” and “what could I have done to make the abuse stop?”

Even though their partner is being abusive to them in the most horrible ways imaginable: hitting, threatening, yelling, pushing, swearing, intimidating, kicking, etc, they may still love this person and hope that they will change.  As well, the most dangerous time for a woman is an abusive relationship is when she attempts to leave her partner. which does not make the decision any easier.

If you are in an abusive relationship or worried about someone who is, please pay attention to these common signs of abuse:

- You feel like you have to “walk on eggshells” to keep someone from getting angry and are frightened by their temper

- You stop seeing other friends or family, or give up the activities you enjoy because they don’t approve

- You feel you are the only one who can help your partner and that you should try to “fix” them

- You find yourself apologizing to yourself and others for your partner’s behavior when you are treated badly

- You believe that their jealousy and control is a sign of love

- You believe the critical things that are said to you and you feel bad about yourself

This Valentine’s Day, if you are in abusive situation, we want you to know that:

Love doesn’t have to hurt,

Love should never hurt.

  If you are being hurt, we are here to help you.

If you are in an abusive situation and you need help RIGHT NOW, please call our crisis line at 416-461-1084 or the Assaulted Women’s Helpline at 416-863-0511.   Both lines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. For more important information on signs of abuse, please click here.

This year at Nellie’s our focus is on the history of Black Women.  We asked the women at our shelter what this month means to them and how they chose to honour it. This is what they had to say:

Black History Month is…

• A reminder of freedom and the suffering that the black community has endured throughout the years, such as slavery, stereotyping, discrimination and isolation.  It continues today.
• A time to reflect and remember the leaders that have devoted their lives and made changes not only for themselves, but the for the community as a whole.  We remember Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks, Malcom X, Harriet Tubman, Marcus Garvey to name a few.
• A reminder of the ongoing struggle of the black community and how they still suffer in Canada today.   It allows our experiences not to be hidden and give voice to our struggle.
• A good remember to raise awareness, fight for changes not only during February but each and every day.
• An opportunity to focus on black women’s experiences of intergenerational trauma.
• A time to reflect and recognize who our allies were in history.
• A time to be reminded to fight for equity and human rights for our communities.
• A time to mourn, a time to remember, a time to celebrate and time take action.

Throughout February we commemorate Black History Month at the shelter.  We celebrate by sharing stories from Black, Caribbean and African Women who have fought for change throughout history because we know that many of these powerful stories remain unwritten. Celebrated author and poet Maya Angelou said  “We want to reach a time when there won’t be Black History Month, when black history will be so integrated into American history that we study it along with every other history.”   During our celebrations we invite women to read aloud her inspirational poem “Still I Rise.”  Our hope and commitment at Nellies is that this celebration of Black History will continue beyond February and that anti-racist activism continues until justice is achieved for all.

]]> http://nelliesshelter.wordpress.com/2012/02/09/celebrating-black-history-month/feed/ 1 nelliesshelter Black History Women http://nelliesshelter.wordpress.com/2012/02/01/nellies-women-experiencing-abuse-and-violence-w-e-a-v-group/ http://nelliesshelter.wordpress.com/2012/02/01/nellies-women-experiencing-abuse-and-violence-w-e-a-v-group/#comments Wed, 01 Feb 2012 16:47:47 +0000 Nellie's Blog http://nelliesshelter.wordpress.com/?p=1317 ]]> Next week marks the beginning of the first cycle of Nellie’s Women Experiencing Abuse and Violence Support Group (W.E.A.V.)  for 2012. This group is open to women in our shelter and in the community who have experienced violence and are ready to talk about it.  Through a variety of different topics women come together to gain an understanding of the role violence has played in their lives and develop the tools and skills to recognize and be proactive against violence reoccurring in their lives in the future. One of the most important things women realize while attending this group is that abuse is never the fault of the abused, but arises out of the need of the abuser to have control over another person.

(Video made by Grade 10 students for Nellie’s YPI Project)

Some of the topics covered during the 12 sessions of this group include: achieving goals, beginning new relationships, the cycle of violence, parenting, starting out on your own, and safety planning. Michelle, a recent participant of Nellie’s W.E.A.V. Group describes her experience as follows: “It was an eye-opening experience for me.  I recognized how to avoid situations, when to stand up for myself, and how to transform into a more confident human being.  It is wonderful to have others to share stories with, learn from and be supported by.” 

At Nellie’s we believe a simultaneous focus on immediate needs such as shelter and health as well as a long-term focus on education and advocacy are the best way to encourage empowerment and independence for all the women and children who come to us for help. Our Women Experiencing Abuse and Violence Group is a core piece of Nellie’s educational programming and offers participants an opportunity to not only learn from our staff facilitators, but most importantly to learn from each other and develop peer relationships that often continue once the group is finished.

Yesterday Mohammad Shafia (the girls’ father and polygamist husband of first wife Rona), his other wife Tooba Yahya (the girls’ mother), and their son Hamad were found guilty of first-degree murder and sentenced to an automatic life sentence, with no chance of parole for 25 years.

The Shafia family emigrated from Afghanistan to Montreal in 2007.  The girls’ refusal to adhere to “traditional Afghan values” in Canada greatly upset their family and incited incidents and threats of violence that were reported to the police.  This article in The Montreal Gazette mentions that the girls spoke to the police in April 2009, with the youngest daughter Getti reporting that her father had pulled her hair and punched her in the face and that her brother hit her in the eye.  In the same month, the oldest daughter Zainab took refuge in a Montreal women’s shelter.  In doing so her family believed she had committed the “ultimate act of betrayal” by making their problems public.  It was revealed in this article by the CBC that the plot to kill Zainab, her sisters, and Rona took shape shortly after this incident.

Zainab, Sahar, Getti, and Rona, you will all be remembered.

For those of us who do not see or live with violence everyday, the Shafia murders and trial are a tragic reminder that violence against women remains a serious problem today. The United Nations estimates that 5,000 women are victims of so-called “honour killings” every year.  The murder of the Shafia women highlights the intersection of gender, culture, age, and violence and the difficulties facing young women who are trying to exercise their right to seek safety and refuge and live free from violence.

Their death also demonstrates that violence against women extends far beyond domestic partner-based abuse.  It persists in control by men and other family members and is masked in social and cultural traditions that perpetuate male patriarchy. Tragically, we have failed these women in many ways including societal justification that the death of “assertive women” will restore “family honour”; and by allowing cries for help to go unheard until it’s too late.

At Nellie’s and other women’s service organizations we witness countless women and children fleeing violence and oppression.  We hear their emotional stories, see their physical scars, and witness their great strength as they transition into new lives free from violence and abuse.

Although sentence has been passed on to punish the guilty, there is nothing we can do for the Shafia women, but hope to learn from this tragedy how to prevent future unnecessary deaths.  We can ask questions such as:
- How can we end violence and abuse in families?
– How can we recognize or better help women and young girls in abusive situations?
– How can services and organizations provide confidential, safe service to women escaping violence?
– Can social media or other technology tools be used to keep girls safe?

We hope that this conversation continues beyond today, next week, and into the future until all women can safely live a life free from violence or the threat of harm.

Paula, Paulina, Tafari and Chermaine from Michael Power High School collected over 80 full-size toiletry items to donate to the women at Nellie’s Shelter as a project for their Social Justice Class.
Thank you ladies for your kindness and generosity.

The Social Justice Committee is comprised of staff and community volunteers who bring a wealth of knowledge and experience in areas such as feminism, anti-oppression training, counselling, education, advocacy, business, law, program management, and journalism.  Members meet every month to: discuss relevant issues; conduct research; develop Nellie’s position papers; plan and attend social justice community events and action; work with various community partners to build coalitions; engage in public policy consultations; and raise awareness on racism, classism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, colonialism, and sexism and how these issues impact women and children.

In 2011, some key committee accomplishments of the committee included:

- Attendance at Community Events including Take Back the Night, International Women’s Day March and Fair, Dyke March, and Toronto Pride Week

-Community Election Forum and Poverty Reduction Forum for women at the shelter and in the community

- Presentation of Nellie’s Women and Mental Health Position Paper at the Psych Out Conference in New York

-Research and writing of Nellie’s Women & Accessibility Paper that is scheduled to be released in April 2012

All the work done by the committee is rooted in the community and informed by the experiences of the women and children we work with.  The events we participate in and plan seek to engage and empower residents and clients of Nellie’s to use their voice to speak out and participate in change, all while moving towards our goal of economic and political equality for all women and children.

This year Nellie’s Social Justice Committee will be providing a formal blog update once a month on Thursdays.  Our first blog series will be out in February for Black History Month.

Stay tuned!  If you want to make sure you don’t miss any of our posts, you can subscribe to our blog by clicking the link on the right.

]]> http://nelliesshelter.wordpress.com/2012/01/26/introducing-nellies-social-justice-series/feed/ 0 nelliesshelter Nellie's-Pride-March-2011-e IMG_0576 http://nelliesshelter.wordpress.com/2012/01/23/happy-lunar-new-year/ http://nelliesshelter.wordpress.com/2012/01/23/happy-lunar-new-year/#comments Mon, 23 Jan 2012 15:41:58 +0000 Nellie's Blog http://nelliesshelter.wordpress.com/?p=1265 ]]> Happy Lunar New Year to everyone celebrating today!

2012 is the Year of the Dragon. If you were born in the year of the dragon, most recently 2000, 1988, 1976, 1964, 1952, & 1940, you are regarded as innovative, passionate, colourful, confident and fearless.

The year of the Dragon is considered the luckiest year in Chinese astrology and the Dragon is a symbol of good fortune and intense power in Eastern culture .

At Nellie’s we’ll be celebrating Lunar New Year with a home-cooked meal featuring traditional Chinese Foods for the women and children.  We’ll be sure to share pictures of this event later in the week.

If you want to know more information about your Chinese Horoscope, check out this article from the Toronto Star.

-H.W. Beecher- 

Thank You for our new boiler for the women and children at Nellie’s Shelter this holiday season!

First, thanks to all of our donors, supporters, and community members for your amazing support in 2011. With your help, the women and children at Nellie’s have been able to achieve many great things, as they begin new lives free from violence, poverty, and homelessness.

Last year, you helped us to provide shelter to 191 women and children; respond to 2,025 crisis calls for assistance; create 320 safety plans to help women and their children safely flee from violence; and serve over 40,000 meals for homeless and low-income women in the community!  For more information, you can access our latest Annual Report.

A few of our Accomplishments in 2011 include:

~ Nellie’s Women & Accessibility Group welcomed our first participants

~ 30 women participated in 2 sessions of our Ending Violence Support Group

~ Our Children’s Summer Camp was a big hit with the kids!

~ We received great feedback and solidarity on our 16 Days to End Gender Violence Blog Series

All of this great work was achieved with YOUR support!

This holiday season was a great reminder for all of us of how generous and supportive our community truly is!

Thank you to everyone who contributed to Nellie’s through our “Home for the Holidays” fundraising campaign;

as part of our online giving community, raising over $16,000 in under 24 hours for a New Boiler for our shelter;

through our inaugral Online Holiday Auction which raised over $3000;

 and as a participant in our Holiday Gift Giving Program which provided a new toy or gift to over 200 women and children this holiday season!

For a pictoral re-cap of the holidays, click here.

Not to forget, thanks to all our 2011 Team Nellie’s  members and donors who helped raise $11,208 during the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon.

Looking forward in 2012, our goals are to maintain the same level of high-quality programs and services as well as increase our capacity to support disAbled women to end violence in their lives, including the creation of space to accommodate private counselling.  We will also continue to work on raising funds to build a new shelter for Nellie’s!

Welcome 2012. With you, we can make this our best year yet and continue to create new beginnings for the women and children in our care.