According to the Native Women’s Association of Canada, more than 580 Aboriginal women and girls have gone missing or have been murdered in Canada.  Most of these murders have happened in the past two decades and nearly half of these cases remain unsolved.  Amnesty International’s Stolen Sisters Report, released in 2004 remains one of the most comprehensive pieces of literature to address this very serious issue.

(image from aaron.resist.ca)

At Nellie’s we believe that acknowledgement is the first step towards healing and we are committed to bringing awareness to the issue of violence against Aboriginal women and children as well as supporting them on their journey towards a life free from violence.  As part of our programming, we attend First Nations events including the Stolen Sisters march and vigil every October 4^th.  Staff and clients also participate in ongoing anti-racism training to increase awareness and understanding of the issues Aboriginal women and children face as a result of colonialism and racism in Canada.

In 2010, the Native Women’s Association of Canada released a community resource guide “What Can I Do to Help the Families of Missing and Murdered Aboriginal Women and Girls?” .  The guide includes comprehensive information about how you can get started as an advocate and raise awareness about the issue of violence against Aboriginal women.  Also included in the guide is information for service providers about how to support the families of murdered women as well as resources for teachers and educators.

As Aboriginal Awareness Week comes to a close, we encourage everyone to remember the missing and murdered Aboriginal women who have been taken from us and to pledge your support to keep this important issue circulating in the media, online, and in our own personal conversations so that we do not lose any more sisters.

In just over a year SlutWalk has become a global phenomenon with women and men all around the world speaking up to say that those who experiene sexual assault are not the ones at fault, the perpetrators are!  SlutWalk 2012 takes place tomorrow, Friday May 25th.  Here is our interview with Colleen:

Nellie’s:  People often say the current wave of feminism lacks a leader or a common cause. How has SlutWalk changed the landscape of Canadian feminism over the last year?

Colleen: Whatever shifts SlutWalk has been able to precipitate are very much indebted to previous feminists and activists, and other movements to fight sexual violence that came before us and are still going. I think it’s fair to say that SlutWalk has sparked a significant amount of debate and conversation about rape culture, use of language, privilege, and offered a supportive space for victims of sexual violence that wasn’t really there before.

Nellie’s: Why do you think the national and worldwide response to SlutWalk has been so huge?

Colleen: While there have been many initiatives, campaigns and individuals who have been fighting sexual violence, SlutWalk is the first endeavor (at least in my memory) to specifically focus on victim-blaming, and to have been a reactionary response to a a really clear incident of slut-shaming. Unfortunately, we kind of had a built-in audience. It would appear that victim-blaming is a really common factor in how survivors of sexual violence experience the aftermath. I would like to think that the major international response has gone some way to furthering the understanding that sexual violence is a lot more common that many people think, and should be everyone’s concern.

Nellie’s: How do you think Social Media contributed to the worldwide explosion of SlutWalk?

Colleen: Given the initial event was advertised online only 6 weeks from the beginning through Facebook and Twitter, social media definitely facilitated the quick spread of the first SlutWalk and the 4,000-strong audience that showed up last year. Within days of SlutWalk Toronto 2011, we were already hearing about other cities that wanted to hold their own – news would not have travelled this quickly through mainstream conduits, and the coverage and impression of the event – what is was, what people wore, was not nearly as accurate on network channels and big newspapers as what account people could find online from actual attendees at SWTO2011. That makes a huge difference.

(Image from torontosun.com)

Nellie’s:  How do you respond to allegations that Slutwalk is a white woman’s movement and does not include women of colour?

Colleen: There’s no simple answer to this – it is a complex issue. We feel it’s incredibly important to recognize the ways that different communities and identities experience sexual violence, and are working on an ongoing basis to organize in a way that de-centers privilege , and increases our understanding of who we may be leaving out, and what we need to do to change that. We’re also doing a lot of community outreach and connecting with organizations in our city to solicit feedback and criticisms and base our organizing in our communities in Toronto. I think we’ll see more with regards to where some of these criticisms sit in the not-too-far future; now that SlutWalk has become so global and has had so much uptake in many places like India, Central and South America, Singapore, etc. the global context is a reminder that this isn’t just a North American thing anymore. We’ve also shifted our approach from re-appropriation to challenging language, hence our tagline this year: My Body is Not An Insult. (See event page for details.) Some of our speakers will be discussing these criticisms this year; and we’re really looking forward to further dialogue.

Nellie’s: Where do you see SlutWalk in a year, 5 years? Does SlutWalk have plans for the future?

Colleen: We are looking at what we can do to make this work sustainable. Victim-blaming is still a problem, and one that we would like to continue to play a part in chipping away at. This may include changing our name if it remains problematic and divisive, as many have said, and we definitely want to develop an advisory committee to help us with bigger decisions moving forward.  I think our focus in the future will be less on a ‘walk’ and more on some of the things we’ve been getting up to in the last year, like speaking engagements, workshops, connecting at conferences, etc. Whatever we can do to further conversation and understanding that the victim of sexual violence is never at fault – we’re there.

Nellie’s: What has been your most memorable SlutWalk moment?

Colleen: There have been so many. Meeting Gloria Steinem,  having the University of Connecticut invite us down to be a part of their SlutWalk on-campus and to witness a SlutWalk in a much more intimate, local context.  But also, for me it’s those moments sometimes when we’ll be explaining to someone on our facebook page about victim-blaming, and a conversation that began with hostility on their part will come around to them saying they want to support SlutWalk and join us in the streets, or a speaking event, like at the University of Connecticut, where a young man stood up to tell the crowd that he had no idea sexual violence was such a prevalent issue, and pledged to not laugh at rape jokes anymore and call his friends on it, or when someone reaches out to us because they feel they have a safer space to share; those are the moments that make it all feel worthwhile.

“What I’ve seen in Canada is a system that presents barriers for the poor to access nutritious diets and that tolerates increased inequalities between rich and poor, and aboriginal and non-aboriginal peoples.”

His report also described the situation in many of Canada’s aboriginal communities as desperate: “A long history of political and economic marginalization has left many indigenous peoples with considerably lower levels of access to adequate food relative to the general population.”

In response to the report, the Federal Government represented by Minister of Citizenship Jason Kenny blasted the report’s findings and said “…the contributions we make to the UN should be used to help starving people in developing countries. Not to give lectures to wealthy and developed countries like Canada.”

(image from aptn.ca)

Today, almost 1 in 10 people in Canada live in poverty. Most of them are children who go hungry every day. We see their mothers every week at Nellie’s in long line ups waiting for the food that will provide them hunger relief.

Aboriginal Awareness Week is a time to reflect on the injustices that Aboriginal people have endured since colonization and that continue to this day, including barriers to access food.

For more information on the United Nations report you can view this video from CBC.

The full report is available here.

On Thursday afternoon the women at Nellie’s enjoyed a Mother’s Day Celebration organized by Tony Roost of One Fire Movement, musician Rory O’Hearn, yoga instructor Marinella Nesso  and photographer Jason Lutz.   Marinella opened the event with an hour long yoga session that had everyone participating!  The women went through deep-breathing, stretching, and relaxation exercises specifically created to celebrate and honour the hard work of motherhood. Following this, Rory serenaded the women with some Bob Marley songs as well as a couple original tunes about strength and perseverance in times of struggle.  The entire afternoon was captured on film and video by photographer Jason.  Thank you Tony for bringing together a such a wonderful group of artists to celebrate the Mother’s Day  at Nellie’s!

 “Today made me realize how important self-care really is.  My spirit is soaring.”

On Saturday evening the women at the Shelter were treated to a Mother’s Day Photoshoot organized by Juanita Morris and her friends.  Stylists Carol, Hayley, Maggie and Alice provided hair and make-up services to each of the women as they prepared to have their photos taken.  Photographers David, Gavin and Louise captured many special Mother’s Day memories of women and their children.  Blacks  has generously offered to process and print the pictures free of charge and flowers for the photo-shoot were generously donated by our East-End neighbours Quince Flowers.

“It’s wonderful to be a Mother at Nellie’s.”

The Body Shop made Mother’s Day extra special for the women by donating gift baskets to everyone at the Shelter.  Both The Body Shop Beaches and The Body Shop Eaton Centre chose Nellie’s as the recipient of their in-kind fundraising campaign “Another for a Mother.”  During the month of May customers added a gift box to their purchase and donated it back to The Body Shop.  Thank you to everyone who contributed to this campaign – the women loved their gifts!

Walmart Canada facilitated a surprise Mother’s Day gift –a lovely silver necklace for every woman at the shelter. Receiving this thoughtful gift moved many residents to tears. On Sunday the residents enjoyed a lovely Mother’s Day Brunch at the shelter. The day was amazing for the women and was certainly one to remember. At a time when motherhood is so widely discussed, it was wonderful for mothers at the shelter to celebrate their beautiful selves and to honour their choices.

“I love you mom.”

Thank you to all our financial donors who responded so generously in giving to our 2012 Mother’s Day Appeal. Your support enables us to provide all the mothers and children at Nellie’s the support and services they need to ensure a brighter future for themselves and their children. Thank you to our community for making all the women at Nellie’s feel special!

We are so pleased to announce that Harlequin has now released a fictional e-book based on Mary’s life story that will inspire other women and moms to know that there is a better life after an abusive relationship.  This e-book is available from Harlequin to download free here.

Mary has been an inspiration at Nellie’s since 2004 when she started volunteering on the Board of Directors. She has spent countless hours working hard to help raise money for our shelter, and awareness of the issues by speaking publicly about her own life experiences.

Reaching out for help and support from a shelter when she needed it most changed Mary’s life forever. And now, she’s passionate about giving back to the community and helping others find a way out.

This Mother’s Day, make time for yourself to read this wonderful story, and make your donation that will give inspiration, hope and a better future for the moms and kids who are residing at Nellie’s today.

Happy Mother’s Day from all of us at Nellie’s.

(Jen, Liana, Renay and Melaine from Rayne Spa).

Here is what the women at Nellie’s had to say about the experience:

“I look so good, I don’t even recognize myself.”
“I feel so good, it’s like suddenly I can think clearly.”
“The facial was so divine, it felt like heaven.”
“I fee so pretty.”

Thank you to the wonderful women from Rayne Spa for giving the women at the shelter an opportunity to relax and be pampered.  We truly appreciate it!

Most of the time it was directed at her, and she tried to justify the outbursts.  Often she wondered if he was right when he said those terrible things…”Maybe I don’t work hard enough.  Maybe I shouldn’t be talking to my next-door neighbour.  Maybe I am too stupid to get a job,” she thought.

But when the abuse was directed towards their 6 year-old son Josh and their 4-year old daughter Julie, Lorrie knew it wasn’t right.  Often when she looked in the mirror at night she felt defeated…and when she saw that same look in her children’s eyes, she knew it was time to make a change.  But without a dollar to her name, and no access to a bank account or credit card, she felt like she was imprisoned in her own home.  That’s when she came to Nellie’s.

When Lorrie, Josh and Julie came to us last year they had no where else to turn.  Lorrie arrived on our doorstep with a gym bag on her shoulder and a child in each hand.  But the look on her face was one of determination and resolve – she knew she was taking the first steps towards a better life for herself and her children.

Working with Nellie’s counsellors, Lorrie was able to slowly open up about the abuse she’d experienced and start the healing process for herself and her family.  Although the change was difficult for Josh and Julie, with the support of Nellie’s Children’s Advocate they were able to continue attending school and looked forward to coming home to the shelter where there were always fun activities waiting for them.

While Lorrie thought that coming to a shelter meant that she was failing her family, the support and encouragement she received meant Lorrie could continue to be a strong leader and a caring mother to her children.  Today, Lorrie, Josh and Julie are doing well.  Thanks to the support she received at Nellie’s, Lorrie found gainful employment and a safe place to raise her family.  This year will  be the best Mother’s Day she’s ever had.

A donation in honour of your own mother or someone special could be the perfect Mother’s Day gift.  Please donate now to help women like Lorrie and all the moms staying at Nellie’s shelter have a Happy Mother’s Day.

With Nellie’s staff, volunteers, and clients, we marched in the rally at Nathan Philips Square and participated in the cultural celebration and festivities that followed.

We marched to stop the cuts, expand services to all, to respect Indigenous sovereignty, insist that no one is illegal, for international workers solidarity, to defend and expand public services, to stop prison expansion and corporate handouts, to end imperialist wars and aggression, to build people’s power, and to move beyond capitalism.  For more information on the May Day of Action, please visit No One Is Illegal.

Across Canada, May is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. We know that sexual abuse and sexualized violence in our communities is far more common than most people think.

According to a 2006 Statistics Canada report, one in three women will experience some form of sexual assault in their lifetime. In 2008, Statistics Canada reported that over half (59%) of the police-reported sexual assault victims were under the age of 18; 81% of young victims were female and 19% were male.

Despite the prevalence and impact of sexualized crimes, sexual assaults have notoriously low reporting rates; more than 90% of victims do not report their experiences to the police.

One of the biggest hurdles that women and children face after experiencing sexual assault is the insidious notion that somehow they “asked for it” by what they were wearing, where they were, what they were doing, what they were drinking, or whom they kept company with. No doubt, this impacts many people’s decision to remain silent after experiencing an assault.

The first annual No One Asks For It! in 2011 was created in response to a number of high profile examples of victim-blaming in Canadian news. A facebook event page was launched as part of a local campaign which spread like wildfire across the nation; more than 17,000 organizations and individuals in Canada signed up to wear purple last year on the first Friday in May!

For 2012, we want to build on the success of last year’s campaign and make a powerful impact across Canada!

It’s simple to get involved!

• RSVP your attendance to No One Asks For It! Wear Purple on Friday, May 4th, 2012. 
• Invite all your facebook friends to attend as well!
• Post the event on your facebook wall.
• Share the facebook event page on Twitter and use the hashtag #NoOneAsksForIt
• Organize Wear Purple events in your schools, businesses, social group, or faith group!
• Most importantly… Wear Purple on Friday, May 4^th, 2012 and tell people why you’re doing it!

Let’s stand together on Friday, May 4^th, 2012 in recognition of those in our nation who have experienced sexual violence!